A trans man stops taking testosterone to try to conceive after his partner discovers he can’t conceive.
Caleb Bolden, 27, from Chatteris, Cambridgeshire, began transitioning from female to male six years ago – around the same time he started trying to have a baby with partner Niamh Bolden, 25, via a sperm donor.
She suffered three miscarriages and one twin stillbirth at 23 weeks and 27 weeks, before being told she would probably never have children.
Instead of paying an estimated £70,000 for Niamh for private fertility treatment, Caleb stopped his daily testosterone injections and used a sperm donor.
Six months later she became pregnant using a sperm donor found on social media, and daughter Isla-Rae Bolden was born in May.
Transgender man Caleb Bolden, 27, (left) of Chatteris, Cambridgeshire, stopped taking testosterone and had a baby when his partner discovered he was unable to conceive.
Despite enduring nasty comments from strangers and enduring gender dysphoria while pregnant, Caleb loves being a dad — and says he’d do it all over again.
The store manager said: ‘It was a rocky road coming off testosterone because I had so many hormones going through my body.
‘It was soul-destroying. Transfiguration was something I knew I wanted to do from a young age.
‘But I knew for myself and my partner that it was something we’d always wanted and I wanted to give it a shot.
‘When the age is right, I will tell him the relevant things. I want other trans people to know that it’s okay to carry children.
‘We are no different to any other person, just because we were born a biologically different gender, doesn’t mean we have to worry or shut ourselves off.’
Caleb (right) started transitioning six years ago – around the same time he started trying to have a child with partner Niamh Bolden, 25 (left) via a sperm donor.
Instead of paying an estimated £70,000 for Niamh for private fertility treatment, Caleb stopped his daily testosterone injections and used a sperm donor. After six months she became pregnant
The midwives and a counselor devised an expert care plan so that Caleb was able to maintain his privacy throughout the experience.
She was induced and gave birth in a separate room instead of a ward. She gave birth naturally at West Suffolk Hospital in May 2023 (pictured with midwives Caleb, Niamh and Isla-Rae).
She said she was told that the eggs she lays are immature, therefore unable to be fertilized.
National Institute for Health and Care Excellence guidelines state that NHS-funded IVF is only available to women ‘who have not conceived after two years of regular unprotected intercourse or 12 cycles of artificial insemination (where six or more pregnancies are through intrauterine insemination)’.
This means women in same-sex relationships, or couples where one person is trans, must ‘prove’ they cannot conceive through artificial insemination (AI), campaigners have argued.
The couple say this means Niamh will be forced to undergo 12 successive rounds of AI – which could cost £80,000 – before she qualifies for NHS support.
So Caleb decided to try to get pregnant instead and stopped taking testosterone in January 2022 – about 27 months after he first started.
After meeting a sperm donor through social media and building a good relationship, Caleb went ahead with IUI fertility treatment and discovered he was pregnant in August 2022.
‘I was on testosterone for 27 months and I was told I couldn’t get pregnant, and my period probably wouldn’t come back,’ she said.
‘But within a month of stopping, my menstrual cycle returned and within six months and three times using a sperm donor I was pregnant.
After meeting a sperm donor through social media and forming a good relationship, Caleb went ahead with IUI fertility treatment and discovered he was pregnant in August 2022.
Caleb said he received a lot of support from healthcare staff and was offered a separate room for the scan so the women couldn’t see him.
‘We have had great support from West Suffolk Hospital from the start of the pregnancy.’
She said most friends and colleagues were supportive – but some people suggested that ‘men can’t get pregnant’ and she received comments from strangers that she was a man who was pregnant.
She added that her colleagues weren’t aware she was trans until she revealed she was pregnant – but they were supportive.
Caleb said he received a lot of support from healthcare staff and was offered separate rooms for scans so the women couldn’t see him.
The midwives and a consultant formulated an expert care plan to ensure that Caleb was able to maintain his privacy throughout the experience.
She was even induced and gave birth in a separate room instead of a ward.
She gave birth naturally at West Suffolk Hospital in May 2023.
‘It was hard to start with because I was having complications – I was in bed for the first four weeks after leaving hospital so I couldn’t have that bond with my daughter.
‘During labor her heart rate was dropping rapidly and I performed an episiotomy.
‘But after leaving hospital I was in agony – because there was a rupture at the episiotomy.
After meeting a sperm donor through social media and forming a good relationship, Caleb went ahead with IUI fertility treatment and discovered he was pregnant in August 2022.
She said most friends and colleagues were supportive – but some suggested that ‘men can’t get pregnant’.
Healthy baby Isla-Rae Bolden was born at West Suffolk Hospital in May
‘The stitches broke and I had a constant infection for five weeks, I couldn’t move.
‘I breastfed at the beginning of two weeks postpartum but I found it quite difficult.
‘I know she’s my daughter and I gave birth to her, but it felt really weird to me and I didn’t feel like a father to her.
‘I’ve recovered so can do a lot more and my partner has been a great support.’
She is still pausing her testosterone treatment as she plans to get pregnant again later this year using the same donor.
She added: ‘I want to be able to carry one more child before I start taking testosterone again.
‘I plan to do it later this year and use the same sperm donor again.’
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